I am beginning to see how much deadlines can stress me out, rather than energize me, as some creative's describe that it works that way for them. Reviewing my calendar for the last month is very enlightening. I continue to OVERBOOK my life. Obviously I have not yet figured out a way to counteract that. Escaping by immersing into fiction reading works AFTER the fact, but I can only justify that for a few days before I get restless and the need to “clean up the mess” I have created during the “gotta get this done”, process becomes it’s own stress factor.
The satisfaction of finishing the project is helpful, but the stack of “need to do next’s”, far to often overshadows that. Plus, the “I should have done it this way”, hangs out in my psyche. Is this what fuels my creative process, after all? Or something to be beaten down with a “go away you bother me”, stick?
I obviously don’t have answers at this time, only questions. I’ll get back to you on this.