Grief

Well, it’s been awhile since I’ve posted, not having much to say. I seem to be going through each day in slow motion. Grief is not new to me; grandparents, parents, aunts & uncles, cousins, ex-husband, and lately even friends, have gone, and I’ve made it through OK, but this loss is very different. Tears fill my eyes even as I type these words and think what that means. Randy is my son, how can this be? How will I manage to move forward in life without him? He’s been sick for the last 4 years, and at first, we held on to the hope that he would be well again, especially that first year after the surgery. The Dr.’s finally admitted that what functions didn’t return to “normal” probably would not. That was a tough blow, physical therapy could not make the damaged nerves recover. He never lost hope for a way to be found that would make him able to live in his cabin in Wisconsin, and he did manage that for a full year with assistance from social services and a caregiver that visited him weekly. She came up with ingenious ways to enable him to care for himself most of the time.

He was happy there.